I just got home from Jesse's house about twenty minutes ago and my ears are still ringing. We lit about $100 worth of fireworks, maybe more, in a span of two hours. It was really fun, but overall, the evening was horrible.
I don't understand how a single comment made by a single person can ruin an entire evening for me, but it really can. Why does it always have to be me? I know I'm not what would considered beautiful, but do you have to exploit that? Especially when I'm sitting ten feet away from you.
It wouldn't be a big deal if I didn't already have huge issues anyway. (That made me sound like I'm insane, which I'm really not. Don't get the wrong idea.) In all honesty, I'm probably less of a fan of myself than you are, so why are you reminding me of the fact that I'm not anywhere close to perfect, physically or otherwise? It's immature, and it hurts.
I'm too sensitive. But I don't like living with the sort of convictions that I do. It's horrible, and no one even knows. I put on this happy face, I smile, and I make sarcastic jokes and such. But inside, it's a constant battle. And I'm tired of one person saying one mean thing and my brain responding the way it does.
I'm tired. I'm hurt. I don't care anymore. But I do care. But I want to not.
See what I'm living with?
What does your name mean?
I have no idea.
How old are you?
16 (and a half bitch)
How old are you mentally (as in are you mature?
older than 16
Describe yourself in 5 words.
five words doesn't cover it.
What are your worst qualities?
I've got a few.
What are your best qualities?
I'm an accomplished procrastinator. I wrote my research paper the period before it was due and received a 100.
How long does it take you get get ready in the morning?
Depends on what I have to do. Anywhere from 10-30 minutes.
SCHOOL
Do you like school?
Hell no.
Why/why not?
I don't like the work, I don't like the atmosphere.
Whats your fave subject?
English
Most hated subject?
math and science.
Why?
I'll never need most of what I learn during those classes.
Ever had a crush on a teacher?
if you ever saw any of my teachers, you'd realize what a completely unreasonable question that is. but no.
FRIENDS
Do you have heaps of friends?
I have lots. Yes.
Do you have a best friend?
I'd like to think so. :)
Do you have more guy friends or more girl friends?
guys.
Do you ever get annoyed at any friend?
not often
Have you ever lied to a friend?
yes.
Have you ever stolen a friends boyfriend/girlfriend?
no, but I've stolen their shirts.
FAMILY
Do you like your parents?
when they're in a good mood.
Ever run away from home?
no, but I've wanted to. I have no where to go.
Ever thought about it?
yeah
Do you have any siblings?
two.
If so, do you like or get annoyed with them?
Paul and I get along well, mostly because of the age difference. Maggie and I don't get along often.
How old are they?
27 (in October) and 13 (14 in two days)
Do you feel your parents spoil you?
They would say yes, but in actuality, not at all.
Do you not get along with any of your family?
yes
Do you have big family get togethers ever?
Two days ago.
RELATIONSHIPS
Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?
no.
If so, are you in love with them?
I've never been in love.
Do they love you?
No, but they love my body.
How long have you been together?
Forever
Most romantic thing they've ever done for you?
Played a cover of "Do You Realize" at Bonnaroo. That was very romantic of him.
Do you have a crush?
you could consider it that, but not really.
Ever done something stupid to impress them?
I've only seen them a few times
Have you ever experienced unrequited love?
not unless seeing Beck onstage and nearly having a breakdown counts
Do you find it romantic or hurtful?
neither
Even know what it is?
never experienced it
RELIGION
Do you have a religion?
a shaky one
Do you practice it i.e go to church?
I go to church because my parents make me.
Do you believe in God?
yes
Heaven?
I hope so.
Hell?
It scares me.
MORALS
Have you ever been drunk?
I've been too drunk too many times.
taken drugs?
yes.
stolen?
only clothes from friends, but they knew.
shoplifted?
this is a synonym from "stolen", and I just answered that.
tried to commit suicide?
no.
Lied to a boyfriend or girlfriend?
yes.
gotten into a fight?
not a physical one.
Would you date a drug addict?
what if I have?
Have you been a hypocrite in the past?
everyday of my life. Hypocricy is inevitable.
Do you have an open or closed mind to other peoples beliefs and feelings?
Open because my own beliefs are so unstable.
PERSONALITY
Are you funny or serious?
funny when I'm with others, dead serious when alone
Creative or not?
more creative than not.
Logical thinker or lateral thinker?
both
Are you outgoing or shy?
shy
Are you lazy or active?
lazy
Have you ever been hyperactive?
rarely.
LOOKS
Are you happy with the way you look?
fuck no.
MONEY
Do you have a job?
I'm looking.
Are you a saver or a spender?
both
Do you work hard or slack off?
both.
Are you always broke?
usually no.
EMBARASSING MOMENTS
Your all time most embarassing moment?
Independence homecoming football game.
Ever giggled like an idiot?
Everytime I giggle, I sound like an idiot.
Ever embarassed yourself and pretedned nothing happened?
yes
Ever said soemthing really stupid?
yes
Ever fallen off a bed?
yes.
THOUGHTS
Ever had funny thoughts and laughed and no one understood you?
Ha, yes.
Whats the first thought that comes to your head when you hear these names?
Bob- That 70's Show.
Jess- Sting goalie
Brian- backstreet boys
Whats the first thought that comes to your head while hearing these words?
rubber - boots.
clothes - Spiderman shirt
theneonlight at 1:29 am